first off i want to say that i am sorry that you guys broke up, but congrats on doing ld for 5 months. This guy seems like a jerk…if someone breaks up with you over any type of communication other than in person or in ldr video or voice chat, its just not cool. I know that it sucks right now having to deal with all this, but part of moving on is regret, and to be honest, checking up on them and seeing what they are doing and i know it hurts like hell, but sometime in the future, things will get better.
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Well, if it’s rape if you say no. so if he made you do it against your will or threatened you, that’s rape. however, if you consented, that is not rape, that’s just being pressured into making a decision. If you agreed then it wasn’t rape, it was just a peer pressure thing. Either way I’m sorry that you did something you weren’t comfortable with. that may have contributed to your asexual phase. I personally believe all experiences shape you and that was a pretty huge experience so that definitely has had and will have an effect on you.
if it was rape, him apologizing does not undo it. No matter what, it doesn’t undo it. if you break someone’s trust, saying sorry doesn’t fix it. if you cheat on someone, saying sorry doesn’t fix it. so if you were raped, him saying sorry doesn’t fix it or change what happened. if you were raped, you should probably tell someone. whether you want to press charges or not is totally up to you. but whatever decision you make, you will need help to deal with the emotions and the effects it has had on you. otherwise it’ll always haunt you and it could tear you apart. so talk to someone about it. I’m sorry for what you’re going through :(